“Boss Babe” Be Gone

Stop Being a Boss Babe. Start Being a Force.

Ladies, there's a phrase floating around that's supposed to make you feel powerful. Boss babe. Rough. Tough. Alpha female. The kind of woman who doesn't need anybody, or so she says.

I used to think that phrase was the goal. I was wrong. Now I think it's a cage with good lighting.

The world doesn't tell you the truth about "boss babe" energy: it keeps you contained. It teaches you to operate like a fortress instead of the force God designed. And the real power, the power that actually changes a society, a marriage, a family, a generation, isn't rough or tough at all. It's love, unleashed. The kind of passion you have for your husband. For your kids. For the people God put directly in your path.

Somewhere along the way, women decided the answer to being overlooked was to become little men. Women's lib promised liberation, but ladies, if you want to actually be free, stop acting like a man. That's not liberation. That's survival mode wearing a blazer and calling itself control. Admit it, this way of life is exhausting and it is sucking your soul out of you. We were never created for the hustle of having to do it all and be it all. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

And I get why it happened. A lot of us learned to fend for ourselves because the men around us went quiet. Soft where they should have stood firm. Silent where they should have led. So women picked up what got dropped. We hardened. We hustled. We told ourselves "boss babe" was strength.

This is not a new story. It started in a garden. Adam was standing right there while the serpent talked his wife into the fall. He watched. He said nothing. Then he blamed her for it. Thousands of years later, the same thing keeps happening in living rooms and boardrooms and church pews, and we keep acting surprised.

It's all backwards. And it's time we set the record straight.

Your liberation doesn't start with a title. It starts with the truth.

You are feminine in all your ways, and that femininity carries an intuition so bright it could set a house on fire. You feel things other people walk right past. You see things others miss entirely. That's not a soft skill. That's a gift from God, wired into you on purpose.

Yes, you might still be in business. The Proverbs 31 woman was quite the entrepreneur. You might have CEO behind your name, or Founder, or Board President. Keep the title. Build the thing God called you to. But know this: your greatest title was never on a business card. Your greatest title is daughter of the King.

Be her.

Some days that looks like leading a meeting. Other days it looks like standing in your kitchen making a meal that nourishes the people you love. Both are you. Both are holy. I've run organizations and I've made a thousand dinners, and let me tell you, the same woman did both. Not the tough one. The one who could feel when something was off with a staff member before they said a word, the same way I can feel it when my husband walks through the front door. That's the gift. It never turned off between the office and home, and it was never supposed to. Wear your womanhood loud and proud, not because survival taught you to grit your teeth and get through it, but because of who God made you to be.

To the men

Some men. No, all men. But you know who you are.

If you're sitting in your basement or man-cave playing video games while your wife carries the weight of your whole household, it's time to get the Cheeto dust out of your belly button and start carrying wood and fetching the water.

But this word isn't just for the man on the couch. It's for the man at the office too. The one who provides a paycheck and calls it leadership. The one who sits at the dinner table every night and hasn't said anything real in years. The one hiding behind his phone, his hobbies, his tiredness, while his wife makes every decision, worries every worry, and slowly turns into the boss babe he now resents. You didn't lose her to feminism. You handed her the reins, then complained about how she rode the horse.

Fix the thing she's asked you to fix a thousand times. Protect her. Provide for her. Love her like it's the only job that matters, because it is. Everything you want on the other side of becoming the man she deserves is already sitting inside the strength of the love you choose to give. Be her partner, not her project. Show your daughters what a real man is so they'll recognize one when they see him. Show your sons what a real man is so they'll never settle for being less.

In other words, stop being a cupcake.

We need better, and thankfully, I get to watch better up close every day and have for 26 years and counting. My husband is the example of what a godly, self-sacrificial man should be, and our marriage works because I stopped fighting for control and we started living the roles God actually designed. I had to stop being the boss babe so I could see that God's design was so much better than the “survival mode” I lived out most of my life.

God gave you a gift, woman. Stop containing it. Unleash it.

To the single mom, and the single dad

You are doing the duty of both roles, and I see you. Know that God has your back, and He alone can make up for all the extra you carry. I pray He gives you strength for every single day and the wisdom to recognize the kind of partner you deserve if that season ever comes: a man or a woman after God's own heart. Kind. Faithful. The kind who stays, protects, provides…and loves like no other. That kind.

So say goodbye to the “Boss Babe” and say “Hello, daughter of the King.”